It was a year later that I met a very lovely girl and began dating her every evening that I wasn't study- ing. By this time I was a junior in college and life looked brighter than ever before. We went together and became engaged in the Spring. During these months my desire to dress disappeared and I was truly happy. We married in the Fall and I learned soon what true happiness was really like. I didn't tell her about my strange desires, because by this time I was truly con- vinced that they were gone forever and my past was best forgotten. Several months after marriage however, things began to happen as they had a thousand times be- fore and my dreams and hopes were crumbled into a million pieces. First some panties, then a bra; next nylons- I remembered what the priest had said. But now it was different; I would be hurting someone that loved and trusted me very much.

With College behind and the challenge of a new career facing me I managed to overcome the constant temptations to dress. Working day and night and week- ends also, my secret desire was kept secret and at an absolute minimum. Hard work can sometimes solve one's problem's but hard work alone without an outlet for the frustrations of life can produce unbearable tension. I decided that I would rid myself of feminine obsessions. once and for all by going to a good psychiatrist and sticking with him no matter what the expense. Above all else, I didn't want to hurt my wonderful wife, SO off I went to a second couch. The doctor was frank and seemed to know something about T Vism. He told me that if I really wanted to get rid of the problem it could be done. After several months with the psychiatrist we were probing all aspects of my childhood. It seemed that we were making progress except for one thing, which was worse than my original problem. After each session I would become so deeply depressed that I couldn't even work. I tried to rid my depression in the bottom of a bottle and started coming home half-happy " which really disturbed my wife. She knew I was having prob- lems and kept asking what was troubling me. She want- ed to help me but I wouldn't let her.

་་

One day I got careless and left an appointment card in a shirt pocket. My wife waited a few days, but final- ly, after worrying herself sick about me, the big question

8.